so much out there

There're still so much out there.
I am going to work hard, play hard, read hard, and travel hard.
I want to feel myself, so I can find out who I am.
That's my new years resolution for year 2009.

Way to go. Sky diving + scuba diving was a good start.


Sky Diving in Cairns, Australia - 14,000ft - Jan 22nd, 2009

yes i am so good

Don't tell me what you have.
I look good on paper too, plus everything else.
So, if you can't look into me and see what i fear, you're not worth mentioning at all.

喜新念舊

似乎人們總是希望甚至是期待著別人記住自己美好的一面，但那些難堪的回憶確總是讓我更印象深刻，除了那些自己無法控制結果的以外。(哈，人性真是現實又犯賤，但我也沒什麼辦法。)
只是時間總是可以替代什麼的似的，讓人的回憶在一種無可控制的情況下不停的被取代被更新。
是的，我總是覺得我很念舊，不停的在懷念著以前的一點一滴。這種感覺在回台灣以後尤其明顯。只是，我想我似乎更喜歡新的事物，是否是因為無可預知所以更感到期待未來會發生什麼事呢我不知道，只是我想似乎可以比較容易感受快樂，沒有包袱的。
很多時候，在自己想逼自己前進，逼自己忘卻一些什麼的時後，只是痛苦的無法自拔且動彈不得。但現在看著那時的自己，只是突然的，看著，卻發現，其實一切卻是那麼的被容易取代。在慶幸的同時，有時這種感覺讓我感到打從心底莫名的恐懼，為何一切能就自然而然的改變而我卻能渾然不覺的讓他持續發生的，現在及未來。
念舊嘛? 我想我想偏好喜新。至少似乎可以更快樂的活著。

就像孩子一般

聽著Ryuichi Sakamoto的Bolerish - Piano Version，其實這不是讓我最喜歡的一首，但好像總能讓我慢慢的平靜下來，沉澱。想著想著剛剛其他那些…好像能比較讓我心情有起伏或有比較多的感覺的歌，總覺得自己聽著音樂好像是一直在尋找什麼一樣，就像孩子一樣，像孩子一樣尋找快樂，尋找那些其實只是單純的、最初的感動而已。或是說，尋找，在尋尋覓覓中，終於找到可以讓我們這麼感動的事物時，找到的那剎那間的喜悅而已。

就只是那一剎那間，我像孩子一般單純的享受著得來不易的暗自竊喜。

My Fab Colleagues

After reading Louise's All I Wann Do, I sipped the hot green tea I just made to lighten my morning but couldn’t help to followed by a sigh. Yes, with all those we once dreamt and thought we could achieve, and yet found ourselves beaten by the reality, wondering around where our once so strong belief in ourselves has gone, piece and piece, bit by bit. Once I was told this was called post graduation depression, but it seems like the overwhelming has followed me so closely every seconds until now, 2 years after I graduated, and I have not yet seen a slight sign of that this being haunted feeling is going away in anytime soon. Today, I still wonder, and I still found myself drifting in the sea with the coast so far away.

No matter how much we whine and wonder where all these are leading to, the mindset we inevitably must determine is actually just to do what’s in our hands right now, regardless how much we still trying to grab even with our hands full. Yet I must agree on the New Year Resolution Zoe has brought up on the very first official working day of 2009 -- to leave work each day at a reasonable, humane hour. Much has happened lately to our loved ones reminded all of us what’s important of our lives beyond our little cubicle and the endless reports (although I must be honest and say some of us are really somewhat workaholic in a way, eager to prove what we are capable of, and in this case, including myself XD).

I guess before my new years break and my I-can't-wait-t0-go-in-a-week Aus trip, I have to thank all those who made my miserable life a lot better in 2008. Great appreciation goes to my fab colleages, yes, those who spent enormous amount of time with me (much more than I do with my family!). W/out you I would probably call it an end sooner than I prepare to, not to mention what happened to my last PwC job. Having said this, even with this job it is still very much a tempting idea which I could see myself impulsively do in the near future. Anyways, thanks for keeping me company for the boring long hours work, and let's make happy hour happen again starting this month!

Well, by all means, thank you for the great year - Louise, Zoe, and Esther.

some luck; some love; someone

it's 2009, and i am still myself.

not a game player, after all.