It's me again.

I miss being spoiled and feeling loved.

My passion.

"昨天過完我65歲生日後，我了解了一件事，我不會再浪費我的時間在我不想做的ˋ事情上"



送你 - by Jacobs.

彷徨

search. decision. determination. passion. needs. love. money. friends. family. career.



my head hurts and my heart sinks.

NW6

Last day.

I'll remember you that way.

Good sex; Nice body; Walk in the parks; Coffee; London; NY Times;


...and the way you look at me. :)

I am glad that I spent time with you.

That's all I could say.

How pathetic. 

:(

Momo姐姐想你也想家

Home

"I miss home."

"I'm coming, and you'll feel like home."




Probably the nicest thing i've heard in a long time. Thank you.

LONDON

I did not come here for you, so I will make it work.


There're just too many good things out there.

You're just not that into me.

Saying I am crazy is just an excuse.

So that's it. I can live with it.

Miss home and my girls.

I thought you were better than that. 

reality check - not so pretty.

Belonging

Not there yet....



But I just don't want to feel lonely :(

Steak and BJ Day

And it begins.

Yıldız

Istanbul - til we meet again.

wtf

I may be naive, but I'm not stupid.


You are just pretty god damn good.

Café de Flore

What if you're never meant to be my twin flames? ...just by then will I have the courage to say...please forgive me?





I doubt it.

Je suis venu te dire que je m'en vais

I came to tell you that I'm going away
And your tears will not change anything there

The Zoo

不知怎麼的我今天好想跟喜歡的人一起去動物園約會阿

Happy Thanksgiving!

And I am thankful to have all of you.

how funny we are always helplessly romantic

But history proved again that it's not the game I can afford to play.

X

tears

為了逝去的愛情

You should know

I'm too good to be a back up. 

And I need to repeat that to myself everyday...

I mushy.

X

26kg. That's my life shipped to London.





Thank you and I love you, mom.

Lonely London

Even though I know this is what I chose, I just can't help to feel lonely, and a little lost.

28女人

滿想念大家混在一起的日子。
只是青春一去不附返。

insecure

Do I have the guts to let it go?

...and do i have the guts to let you in?

Thank you and good night.

這是你上輩子修來的，他說。

我想也是。

Not just somebody

I want someone who needs me, and only me.

躺在床上

今天的我感覺特別寂寞。

卻是熟悉不過的感覺。

my passion

是不是找不到就得不到救贖?
只有找到才是唯一的出路嘛?

汲汲營營

不知道多久以前曾經寫過一樣的標題，
期望的改變依舊沒有發生。


是不勇敢太現實也太不相信。

am i born to feel miserable at work but happy at life? maybe, maybe.

17N

I was in NY with you and you - I knew it.

青春美好歲月

連看著剛回來台灣的照片也覺得遙遠
抓不住什麼....心糾在一起了還是抓不住什麼。

我....

balance of my life

between myself and the fun; my need and your love

one day

who's the one you always think of?

Queensboro bridge

one stop away from manhattan. i can still see the starlight coming from the city at night til this day.

call you

一個人很好，只是我有時也想撒個嬌。

游走在邊緣之間。

not there yet

this is the moment when i realize that this is not going to work out.
and it probably never will.









wtf. i thought i am there already.

b/c there is always someone to blame.

i need someone who needs me.

dolce far niente!

I think we can do it. What do you say?

unstoppable

Tick. tuck.

The clock started ticking and there's again no turning back.

Game has started, and I can only keep playing.

good night.

thanks for listening

..when no one else could possibly understand.

carpe diem

that's it.

Luv

another restless day. nothint feels quite right.

perfect day to listen to travis though.
and my emotions extended along with the lasting notes in the melody.

unsettled

for some reason i slipped and grown to be accustomed to the laid back life i once afraid i would get used to.
god damn it came true and i did not realize it til now.

til now i ran into you.

my faith

不管錯過了什麼，
我都不能回頭看。不能，也不準。

Sous le sable

今天的氛圍，
讓我想起來在我astoria studio裡獨自一個人靜靜著，


只有窗外大雪紛飛。

Somewhere only we know.

suffocated

I really really need to go somewhere. plz...

let me.

wulala

am i not lucky to have all of you?

LOL

真想去法國談戀愛，

在那片天空底下。

hello

I miss you.








Even thought I know it's just a part of process but I still do.

After all life wouldn't be fun without emotions here and there, regardless it's sweetened or even too bitter to swallow.


so i live.

Coincide

Not exactly there yet...but i am somewhat closer.

anywhere; everywhere

judy needs to get going.

next stop; I hope to run into you.

to be or not to be

I wish i can just be proud of being a good student following all the rules created by society..as well as feeling happy being all considerate and independent to friends and family and all.

...as if all of these could just lessen my struggles and pain.

Blonde Redhead

its been long since the last girls night out.
and i kinda enjoyed it.

street light

let me know let me know.

Looking down to my palms under the street light..

I've always thought I would have a lot in hand when my hands are the size of grown ups. Like now.

I've always thought I would be able to grab a lot - someone's hand, a career, fame, love, family..and jsut so much more.



how come growning up doens't make me understnad more, realize more, or turn me into the realistic adult who I thought would have no dreams but only responsibilities and family burdens?



I am in so much pain sitting in between...



in between needs;
in between dreams;
in between love.

in between

lost in between can do...and cannot do.

cheers

no need to say no more, if we all understand.



maybe nothing lasts forever, but there will always be something we remember.

someone else

it could still be a game, but i just don't know how to play myslef in it anymore.


nothing to hold on to...this time, even i don't dare to have the faith.






only the silence after the laugh from your jokes speaks.

handfull

my life can be as colorful and joyful as i want it to be.




it's all up to me.

smile

i always do.

沒到位

很久沒有這種心情，








是時後該出走了。

sydney

what happend in sydney, stays in sydney.




because there's nothing else i could have taken away except for memories.
memories with you.

thennustart

time for my new start.










that's all i can do for you.

somewhere over the rainbow

I just want to be special.




how wonderful would that be?

=)

我只是忘了單身的生活，不是無法過單身的生活。

拿起一本小說窩在床上 - 是一個代替睡前電話最好的開始。


沒那麼難。

someday

when do i get to go traveling with a bf?

i've waiting for this for 26 yrs already.



come with me, if you will.

you

nothing lasts forever

錯過

i always feel like there's more to come, but while i am waiting, i've yet overlooked so much.

just for a moment

我需要去旅行。

sparks

不能再自憐自艾
我要尋找生活的美好

再見

如果不試試怎麼知道..

現在的我，只能抱著這種心情前進。

現在的我
是個不允許感受悲傷快樂的人

dreams don't come true

如果不能實現的夢是不是看看日劇電影就好?

看不見

倉徨的行人，滂沱的雨水，泥濘的腳步，滴著水的髮梢，
我的心情就跟外面嘩啦啦下個不停的雨一樣的不堪。

夢醒之間

電影和drama-讓我在短短的幾小時內能夠盡情放空
心甘情願讓情感被操縱


打上the end. 開了燈，
怎麼又是一場戰爭?


我喜歡和自己談戀愛 - 卻更討厭與自己分手。



個性讓我總是徘徊在主動與被動之間。

empty street

我們何嘗不是都在等待那特別的人?

don't know if the changes were for good.

汲汲營營

不管踩在哪一邊，我卻是不滿足。

想必是還沒想通自己要的。

到底怎麼該得到幸福?

--

有個男朋友，但我卻覺得不能再更孤單。

settle for what

一直以來追求到現在的...

是時後該認命?

就這樣嘛? 該屬於我的就這樣而已了嘛?





不是每一個人都像carrie一樣有happy ending.

lovely

我猜我最近過的很幸福，
畢竟沒有人會過度的放大睡不飽這種負面情緒而寫在blog上。

soon, after vacation

重新開始，
不知是與世界接軌，還是脫軌。

Right now, Right here

I just need to know I've got you with me.
Even if there is only one of you.

望著 - 忘著

不是滋味 - 卻也掀不起漣漪

這大概就是對你的註解


有時候很難相信很多事就這樣過去了 - 再也不會回頭也沒有第二次機會
不是什麼事都可能的嘛? 我真的這麼以為過

did i let u all down?

only i thought i was mature..enough.

左邊的我總是知道要向著前方 - 害怕著追趕不上的夢想
右邊的我不斷拉扯身旁的人事 - 害怕著不再停留的思念

人

想要的不多, 卻從來不滿足

是什麼時候該停止夢想?

that day when we said goodbye

Dunno if that I just miss you guys too much or I just can't let go the old good times. I know all the feeling probably was mainly from being insecured about my job status right now...


but still, 揮手再見的我，轉身還是想掉眼淚。

If that's mine, give it to me NOW!

excuses

不該再為我的躊躇不前找藉口。

It's my life after all...like anyone else cares.

Sometimes I wonder why everyone in this world have the courage to keep living, or I guess we just don't have courage to kill ourselves yet.

蠢蠢欲動

you were right, 隱藏的不安原素正是我自己。

so far so good?

Will you make me look at you? Only you?




Maybe then I'll have the faith to change the world. My world.

NOT A VICTIM!!!

"I am going to show you how an adult relationship is like."





Is it that I just assume people will and should trust in me because how much I believe in myself? Yet I do not trust others in the same way I want them to trust me?

You were right.

I think I was the one who take things for granted.



I guess I just need to stop acting like a victim from the illusional world created by my overthinking and hope that someone will not break my heart again.
Please just..not again.

A Season of Celebration

Looking at the post card sent from nyu stern with washington square garden covered in snow printed on the back, I could almost feel the goosebumps on my arm because of the crisp cold air that almost ache. People wrapped in heavy wool or dawn jacket only looked down their feet, dodging the melting snow puddle. Everything was covered in white, only the traffic light shone the green arrow directing the few cars that still tried to make their way in the snow. I... just miss all my friends all over the world, for good or bad we've been through.

For a holiday season that is not so holiday-ish in a place like Taiwan, I still want to give all my dearest friends my best wishes no matter where you are.

Cheers to all my dearest friends.

她

一直以來我以為是害怕自己忘了紐約，但也許其實是害怕紐約遺棄了我。



對只能緬懷過去美好時光的這件事，至今我仍是無法釋懷。

trapped

太多的玩樂放空鬆懈終於緊緊的回來的抓住了我。


I am paranoid and panic again, as expected.

love's in the air

Am I too selfish to want it all?

Quote

"有些情況要等很久以後才能瞭解，那時候往往已經太遲了。很多情況，我們在無法認清自己心意之前就必須選擇行動了，這使得大家很迷惑。" -- 世界末日與冷酷異境 by 村上春樹

my happy sunday night

聽著你傳來開心的歌...I wonder why I was so negative before.

其實我很好的嘛! psh.

其實，真是再好不過了。

gemini

我想很多時候我吵吵鬧鬧的只是在找尋事情的原因。
對於結果如何，我倒是一直都頗能坦然接受。

Really?

4am.

Perhaps it's the disturbing noise trucks driving outside rehearsed at late night or the air I inhaled in in early winter morning while looking out for the hope to witness the sunrise; surprisingly, I am so calm yet so hung up on your words that I am still unable to close my eyes and call it a night - 'your exes were all losers. Fuck.'

Sitting here, I burst out laughing, this is just not the first time I have heard those words. Man. I think I really fucked things up.
25. With two of the boxes for "must-have-in-life" still unchcked on the top of the list. Now, I feel officially pathetic.

Put on the repeat mode. The song keeps spinning. You said you will mark this as my song. Judy's song.
How sweet the song humming; how bitter my heart sinking.

Maybe I just need to cry out loud. Maybe everything will turn out just right. Maybe it's all just part of the process. Maybe, and maybe, and maybe.

Maybe everything will be fine tomorrow, and someone will love me like described in the song.
Maybe.






Really?


By Your Side - Sade

You think I'd leave your side baby?
You know me better than that
You think I'd leave down when your down on your knees?
I wouldn't do that

I'll do you right when your wrong
I-----ohhh, ohhh

If only you could see into me

oh, when your cold
I'll be there to hold you tight to me
When your on the outside baby and you can't get in
I will show you, your so much better than you know
When your lost, when your alone and you can't get back again
I will find you darling I'll bring you home

If you want to cry
I am here to dry your eyes
and in no time you'll be fine

You think I'd leave your side baby
You know me better than that
You think I'd leave you down when your down on your kness
I wouldn't do that

I'll do you right when your wrong
I-----I, ohhhh, ohhh

If only you could see into me

Oh when your cold
I'll be there To hold you tight to me
Oh when your alone
I'l be there by your side baby

take it easy

這並不是什麼大不了的事 - 我這樣告訴自己。

gameplan

You think being honest to each other is what you want, but when I finally turn my heart to your hand ane left nothing beehind, you think I've just killed the fun.

Don't know how many times I can kneel in front of you - naked with my heart in my palm still dripping the blood.



Just then I realized I just scared you again.


Mommy, how come no one ever taught me to follow the human nature instead of believing in myself?

How greedy I am to wish to have learnt all the things without tripping? But I am just so sad.

God, will you forgive my sin?

stay focused! wtf.